Ok seriously, Anderson Cooper and that Overstock.com model that reports the evening headlines need to just screw already. I'm getting a little tired of enduring night after night of their sophomoric non-sequiturs. How many times must we roll our eyes while "Scoop" Cooper and whatever her name is make cutesy little comments and blow verbal kisses at each other? Ugh.  Ok guys; time to stop. I mean it. It's annoying. Hell, even my grandmother is starting to gag and she owns the Jeanette McDonald movie library.

They need to have sex so that their banter can finally go from treacly and banal to bitter and desultory—which is really why we're all watching anyway. Why do you think Fox kept Bob Sirott and Marianne Marciano around for so long? If nothing else, CNN sexcapdes could finally get Cooper out of the country for a while, and how great would that be for ratings? Who wouldn't like to see ol' tinsel top throw a conniption fit during an anti-Danish riot in Damascus?